Like, really, can you believe how much I don’t care, I just can’t stop talking about it. Every day I think about how Ruin RAPED Luke Skywalker (and my childhood) and how Kathleen Kennedy sold out to the Essjaydouble(You)s by putting a fat asian bitch (cna) in my space kino, so really, I just can’t bring myself to care about Star Wars anymore. I can’t stop posting on stc about how much I don’t care about it, we have started a little club where we constantly broadcast how much we don’t care about Star Wars anymore. Every time we see a post ANYWHERE about Star Wars, we must post about how we don’t care about Star Wars anymore because of how bad The Last Jedi is. I’m watching the Mandalorian, sure, and it’s pretty good, but I’m ONLY doing it so I can still complain that the movies aren’t the Mandalorian. In fact, fuck the movies, there’s no W O R L D B U I L D I N G in them, so I don’t care. I care so little that I am constantly following every bit of information and leak regarding the Rise of Skywalker, so I can endlessly scrutinize every single frame and image released and complain about how bad the movie that I haven’t seen is based on contextless leaks that may or may not be true. In fact, I’ve already bought my tickets for opening night, just so I can see how bad the movie is, because if I don’t, how will I nitpick the movie and whine about it with my e-buddies on stc? How will I be able to follow along with the latest MauLer critique where he (objectively) complains about the lighting on the spaceship not being OHSA compliant? I wouldn’t want to miss that, EFAP makes it feel like I have real friends, because complaining about Star Wars is the only thing that assigns my life meaning anymore. I hate Star Wars, and I’m going to make sure everyone knows.

Because I don’t care.