I fucking love hand sanitizer. The smell of it is enough to make me instantly nut in my pants. I never wash my hands, instead squirting the delicious juice all over my hands and massaging it into my skin. I carry hand sanitizer with me everywhere I go. Whenever I am less than 99.9% clean of bacteria, I have to bathe in it until I am clean. Whenever I am thirsty, I find the nearest hand sanitizer and chug it, cleansing my tongue, mouth, and throat of the disgusting bacteria. I drink so much hand sanitizer that my sweat, urine… All of my body fluids reek of hand sanitizer. My dream is to fill an Olympic swimming pool with hand sanitizer and not leave until it is completely empty. I consume so much hand sanitizer on a daily basis that moonshine isn’t enough to get me drunk, due to the fact that hand sanitizer has alcohol in it. I smell so intensely of hand sanitizer that everyone in a 50 mile radius instantly dies of hand sanitizer poisoning.