Dumblecunt’s gonna say a few words to you now so you all better pay some attention now yea?


Good evening first years, and welcome to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry! Remember; the first floor is off bounds to anyone who doesn’t wish to die a most *PAINFUL SEXUAL* death, very evil demons are on the first floor, very evil indeed, they have twelve penises they will insert them into your orifices.

VERY DEEP INSIDE and they will RUPTURE your INSIDES.

Dumblecunt I think we’ve just, we’ve got a few other things to talk about first.

SHUT IT YOU STUPID WOMAN

No, you do not talk to me like that these days.

THEY NEED TO BE AWARE OF THE PENISES INSIDE OF THE VAGINA!


No, they don’t. You little sick man.

It’s VERY IMPORTANT. It’s VERY DANGEROUS!

You’re such a sick BASTARD you. Look at, look, FUCK OFF.


Just SHUT UP

# I AM DUMBLEDORE

Shut up! I don’t give a FUCK who you are. This is my bloody school soon. Shut up noooow.

Professor McGonagall ya wrinkly bitch.

Aw why ya calling me that ya BEARDED BASTARD

I’m TRYING TO emphasise the danger of the situation.

There’s no dangers.

THE PENISES OF THESE MONSTERS

Why are you talking about their fooken penises all the time?

THEY’RE INSERTING THEIR PENISES INTO THE PUPILS OF OUR STUDENTS

I think you’re a gay OLD BASTARD MAN

VERY SEXUAL an’

NO No, why don’t you just shut up?! You and you’re fucking viagra spells.

The first years are in danger of these PENIS DEMONS!

Look at that fucken Harry bastard. He’s still at least six years away from fucking puberty.

HARRY POTTER

No! You leave his little bottom alone.

HARRY, THEY’RE GONNA PENIS yer’ BOTTOM

Don’t be scaring him like that-

HARRY

the only thing that comes out of your bottom is poo. You only want poo coming out yer bottom.

YOU BETTER BE CAREFUL FROM THE PENISES

First years, first years. Don’t listen to the old fooker.

Big **BULBOUS**

# PENISES

My god. What is wrong with you all?!

They’re going to RUPTURE yer’ ANAL CAVITIY!

He’s talking a load a’ SHIT

YA BETTER WATCH OUT!

Look, I’m gonna fooken resign, if ya carry on with this shit!

LISTEN McGonagall ya CHUBBY COON. The fuck is WRONG wae yae, ya fucken PUSSY BITCH?!

Aw, why ya’ callin’ me that is it ‘cos I turn into a fookin’ cat?

YER’ A FUCKEN CAAGGHHHT

Auch aye yeah, I know I’m a fookin cat. ya BASTARD!

WHY Y’NOT IN A CAGE!? YA FUCKEN ANIMAL!

em…? SHUT UP!

WHY ARE YOU EVEN IN THIS FUCKEN HOGWARTS SCHOOL?

Y’KNOW WHAT? YOU’RE NEVER GETTING A FUCKING BLOW JOB FAE ME AGAIN

WHY DO I PAY YOU MONEY?

Y’DON’T YA FUCKEN MOULDY BASTARD

YER’ FUCKEN SHIT!

I do more in this school than anyone does!

I DON’T GIVE A FUCK! M8