# My Apology Video

Yes, the accusations are true. I do, in fact, shit on my hand and rub it on my dick while jerking off. I know it sounds disgusting. I know it’s vile and wrong. But it’s what I do, and I sure love doing it. It all started about a month ago, when I was getting ready to do the deed. I had everything ready. I had Pornhub pulled up to my favorite video of two dudes fucking. I had my tissues and lotion on deck, and I was ready to get stroking. But then I realized, I was out of lotion. And I really had to shit. So, I decided to just shit into my hand. And before I knew it, I just had a massive piece of shit in my hands. I decided to make the best of a bad situation and rub it all over my massive cock. And I must say, it was the greatest sexual experience of my life. It’s even better than that one time I fucked Joe Biden, but that’s a story for another time. Once I climaxed and nutted in perfect sync with the men in the video, I noticed something. My cum was brown! Somehow, rubbing shit on my cock turned my cum brown. Then I realized, it wasn’t cum. It was shit! I was cumming actual fucking shit! This was unbelievable. I was the first human to ever cum shit. And now, every night before going to bed, I load the same Pornhub video, shit in my hand, and two minutes later, I cum shit. I know it sounds disgusting. I know it’s vile and wrong. But it’s what I do, and I sure love doing it.

P.S. Just found out my wife does the same thing! Isn’t that just incredible?