My dearest madam

I have thoroughly examined your breast which have achieve even the most highest standards of even the most intellectual scholars I must say. I have gracefully given you my fullest & upmost attention to which I expect you my madam to be very pleased as I do not simply give any mistress my intimate pleasure . I have been with a many mistresses not because of trivial spooks like social class or the wealth they possess as I have been with the most lowliest peasant of Siam to the highest nobility of Aragon. All of these mistresses have all been thoroughly been examined to even please my lowliest of standards. All have recounted their most intimate pleasures with me as that of a child who has used their fullest senses to experience the grateful gift Providence has given them. It would be the of the utmost bamboozlement to even consider my correspondence I have gracefully given you while you sit here selling coal to Manchester playing these puzzling doohickies which do not even fulfill the senses of even the most moronic minds. I expect you my madam to give me the upmost graceful response to my correspondence as I do not simply give any mistress my most intimate time & pleasure to just anyone who desires it.