I’m going to cut straight to the point. Alvin knows how to please a woman. In this new debate that has arisen, we all have to agree now that the chipette receiving the best dick is very clearly Brittany. In this essay I will cover why I strongly believe that she is the best candidate for this position. First we will, off each individual chipettes faces, then a deep analysis of the body language of each of the chipmunks. Third, I will explain how Eleanor and Jeanette would not be a possible candidate in any way. Lastly, the unavoidable fact that Alvin is hiding a big secret.

First. Starting from the big image, we see each chipette receiving varying degrees of pleasure from each chipmunk. Now going off of facial expressions of each chipette. From a quick glance it is most definitely brittany the chipette as she is in full immersion of what she is receiving. Her eyes rolled back and her tongue stuck out are obvious signs of the dick that Alvin is laying down. If that is not enough evidence we can examine the image closer, and through closer review we see the intense grip that Alvin has on her hips result in an experience like no other.

Now, onto more subtle hints. Let’s analyze the weakest first. Simon, while laying down the dick, really shouldn’t look confused. There are a few reasons as to why he could be confused, but if you take into account Jeanette’s pained expression, the truth is revealed. Inferrably, Simon has accidentally stuck his cock into Jeanette’s asshole. Now, for some, this may not be a bad thing, but for Jeanette, a shy nerd who has most likely never had sex before, this would be extremely unexpected and likely extremely painful. Eleanor would not be a possible candidate for receiving the best dick because Theodore is obviously a virgin chipmunk. On the contrary, Alvin is a Chadmunk with big dick energy. Alvin is used to busting nuts all over chipettes because it isn’t his first rodeo.

Instead of focusing on the chipette’s expressions, let’s turn our attention to the chipmunks themselves. Alvin is staring intently at Simon’s nether region, biting his lip. He almost seems filled with some sort of passion or longing. Couple this with Alvin’s “jock” stereotype, and an interesting theory emerges. Alvin is gay. He longs to penetrate and be penetrated by a man, and uses Brittany as a beard. He feels compelled to act like a “chadmunk” because it would make him seem masculine and straight. While looking at Simon’s throbbing member, he imagines Brittany as a twink man and becomes emboldened by his gay passion. In that moment, Alvin unleashes all of his gayness that he has kept in the closet all his life and in doing so gives Brittany the best dick she will ever receive.

In conclusion, through examination of Brittany’s facial expressions, a comparison and contrast of the chipmunks body language, and lastly the dirty secret alvin has been hiding, but finally cannot hide. It is evident that Brittany the Chipette is receiving the best dick. Alvin knows what he is doing when it comes to loving a woman, and has a fiery burning passion to love a man just as well, and it is clearly seen in this image. Any dispute against the points brought up today would be a futile and pointless attempt of an argument. Brittany is and always will receive the best dick (in terms of the image).