I could beat you in a fight easily because I’m fat.

1) You’d have to aim for my head, because my body is padded by 6 inches of tactical karate fat while I can strike you anywhere and hit vital organs due to your total lack of absorption you’ll just die.

2)Thanks to the extra 150 lbs of armor I carry around, my I’m lifting 24/7. I won’t even need to punch you I can literally just sprint at you and trample you to death like a bison.

3) Your girlfriend knows this and sees my fatness as a virtue and a strength. She wants a strong man to protect her and provide for her and being fat shows I have an overabundance of material resources. So not only will I be beating you like a bull, I’ll be the bull in your bedroom nailing your girlfriend.